My Guest this week is going to reveal a world hidden from the majority of us. Is it the world the reader imagines, or are there darker secrets? Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present...
The secret life of
an Erotic author
Follow just about any Erotica author online and you’ll be treated with pictures of delicious men, snarky jokes about spanking, and tons of other fun tidbits. No doubt, my online search of sexy topics—purely in the name of research, mind you—has landed me on more than one pervvy, government watch list. Opening my email has become a daily
adventure. I never know what sort of fan mail I’ll find inside. I’ve seen
things… horrible things… things I cannot unsee. The award for keeping a straight
face while answering questions should arrive in my mailbox any day.
During a recent interview, I was asked to describe a day in the life of Charity Parkerson.
This was the moment I realized two important things. Not only is my life vastly different than what people think, I also have not lost the awesome ability to horrify people speechless.
For anyone interested in hearing about a day in the life of an erotica writer, here it is:
After dragging myself out of the bed—kicking and screaming—I get my two boys ready for school, secretly praying they are going to spend the day with someone blessed with infinite patience. Eventually, I discover we are already ten minutes late. I then spend another ten minutes standing by the door screaming for everyone to get their d@#m shoes on, and praying someone with tons of patience is waiting to greet me at the school. Thirty minutes of travel time from one end of town to the other-- in order to drop them at two separate schools-- is spent listening to several arguments. The top one usually consists of my youngest accusing my oldest of being mean. The debate landing in second place is the one where I am accused of never seeing how annoying my youngest is being to my oldest. If you add in my fervent prayers for all the wonderful teachers out there
to have strength, you have the first couple of hours of my day. Once I have the house to myself, I drink a ton
of coffee while catching up on tweets, Facebook messages, and emails. After
obsessively checking my sales ranking and crying into my third cup of coffee, I
stare blankly at the wall for 4 hours while dreaming of hot MMA fighters,
police detectives, and demons. When I catch sight of the clock, I spend another
thirty minutes wailing over how I’ve wasted the whole day, before going on
Facebook to confer with my friends, only to realize they’re doing the same
thing. This, of course, makes everything right with the world again. With that
said, if it’s a month until my deadline, those four hours are spent alternating
between clicking away at the computer keys and hyperventilating into a paper
bag. If it’s the day after I’ve completed my manuscript, I’m patting myself on
the back and lying about how I wasn’t worried in the least. Oh, and
occasionally I spend my day dreaming about an organized computer where all my
files are competently labeled making them easy to find. Then I remember I can’t
afford minions and I’m over it.
Sorry to disappoint everyone who believed I spent my day swinging from the chandelier. Maybe one of these days hot cover models will feed me chocolate-covered strawberries. Unfortunately, it will—most likely-- only be because I’m in the nursing home and it’s their job. Until then, you could always read about the lives I live inside my mind.
Charity Parkerson is an award winning and multi-published author with Ellora's Cave Publishing, Midnight Books, and Punk & Sissy Publications. Born with no filter from her brain to her mouth, she decided to take this odd quirk and insert it in her characters.
*2013 Readers' Favorite Award winner
*ARRA Finalist for Favorite Paranormal Romance
*Five-time winner of The Mistress of the Darkpath
*Named one of the top 10 best books by an Indie author in 2011- Paranormal Reads Reviews
*Best Paranormal Romance of 2012- Paranormal Reads Reviews
When Charity is not writing steamy novels (or swinging from the chandelier?) she can be found at:
Eric @ www.ericjgates.com